Wednesday, December 17, 2008

so you see...

one flew over the cuckoo's nest

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

the way people talk...

these days, the way people talk really bothers me. even really intelligent people. they use slang, and simple words. people don't have a wide range in their vocabulary. it's embarrassing.

(i used to think it was only americans, and that british people just naturally knew more words...

not true.

media frequently uses voices with british accents in advertising/endorsing/etc. because they "sound smarter". it's dumb.)

sorry for that tangent.

back to my original point.

people don't speak the way they used to in times previous. and i'm not saying this with a sense of "the grass is always greener in another time period". BUT. i really think that people used the tool of language more proficiently more OFTEN than people now.

don't laugh, but i cried during the movie "national treasure". (though i'm not very political, i am definitely a very PATRIOTIC person). there's a line in the movie where diane kruger's character tells nicolas cage that "people don't speak that way" and he responds with, "no, but they think that way."

this is entirely true. i'm not very eloquent or articulate VERBALLY. but the things i say in my mind are so wonderful and profound and poetic.

watch the movie 1776. thomas jefferson and ben franklin say some very beautiful things. and a lot of it was taken from actual documentation of the period. it should move you. really.

watch "pride and prejudice" (bbc, 1980). it's sad, but half the people i know (though they understand the plot, etc.) probably don't know the meaning of a LOT of the individual words used. it's ridiculous.

watch "his girl friday". the dialogue is spoken so fast, yet the words don't deviate at all from the EXACT emotion/description/meaning/focus that they're meant to have...

this is a very... vocabulary-lacking... generation. and the saddest part is... i'm no better! i cringe on the inside when i catch myself speaking unintelligently. i know better than that! but it's so hard not to! i use the very minimum of what is verbally required. i know a lot more words than i ever actually use, though i SHOULD.

i once tried speaking only in poetics. it was absolutely lovely - - when i had someone participating WITH me... but there were only two of us! and i interact with so many other people during the day, and the habit of poor speaking is so... ingrained.. that there's no way i was able to really practice to the point of proficiency.

anyway. i guess what i'm saying is. blah blah blah. i wish i had lived in another era. BUT NOT REALLY. it's just that... when i actually stop to THINK about it... i have this strange, longing, yearning feeling. but i don't know exactly what it is that i'm feeling homesick for...

i won't even try to explain any further.

being alive is nice.

<3

Friday, December 12, 2008

sometimes i think...

i am above romance. i'm not romantic. no matter how many cinematic fairytales i enjoy slash temporarily obsess over, i really have never let that kind of romance touch my life in reality.

i am above romance. it is beneath me. i have commitment issues. this is probably the best explanation i can give as to why i have never had a boyfriend/serious relationship. also, i think that by letting myself be used in the past, the lines have been blurred concerning what is acceptable for "relationships" and what isn't.

i'm not in love. i have never really been in love. i am beneath it/it is above me. that doesn't mean i don't think i'm worthy of being loved or that i am incapable of loving. it is something i would actually like to have. something i would like to work towards. it just hasn't happened yet.

it is possible to attain love, without first having romance. the problem is, i have no idea how.